Pit of Despair

Finally, a solution to the worst scourge of this scorched Earth: brown avocado

By Katie Herzogon Aug 12, 2016 6:06 amShare

There’s nothing worse than overripe avocados. Bone spurs? Nah. Attack by rabid dog? Uh-uh. 24-hour election coverage? Not even that! Expecting the beautiful green flesh of a perfect avocado and finding brown slime in its place is objectively worse than all the evil of the world combined.

Brown avocados don’t just kill any mortal’s will to live — they’re also wasteful: Americans throw away an estimated 70 billion pounds of food each year. And you can bet your $10 toast there’s a whole lot of discolored avocados on that trash heap.

But from the darkness, a hero must emerge. As Mashable reports, the Natavo Zero — a new machine developed by Australian company Naturo Technologies — uses pressure, temperature, and steam to quench the enzyme that causes avocado to turn brown after it’s exposed to air. If you run sliced avocados through the “time machine,” as Naturo calls it, the precious fruit will stay green for up to 10 days.

Natavo Zero is only available for large-scale food processors. Why? Because you, as a lazy consumer lone wolf, actually have to do very little to keep an avocado green: Squirt it with lemon, rub it with olive oil (debatable, but sure), or leave the pit in. Or maybe just don’t buy too many of the damn things in the first place — you will never make that much guac.

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Finally, a solution to the worst scourge of this scorched Earth: brown avocado