Tag Archives: nsfw

Loan By Drone and Eight Other Silly "Drone" Trademarks

Mother Jones

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Drones are so hot right now. That’s why more than 140 active trademarks using the word “drone” are currently registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office. Some noteworthy ones:

Drone Porn®: This one was bound to happen. A registered trademark covering video and “electronic, electric, and digital transmission of voice, data, and images, all in the field of adult entertainment.” (See also: “Drone Boning”—definitely NSFW.)

Loan By Drone®: Predatory lending meets Predators with “payday advances, payday loans, short term loans, installment loans, title loans, title pawns, check cashing and stored value card services delivered via drone.” The business doesn’t appear to have started yet, but there are already places that will loan you drones or the money to buy them.

Drones Gone Wild®: “Entertainment services in the nature of an ongoing reality based television program.” Thankfully, there doesn’t appear to be any reality TV project with this name yet, but there are some interesting YouTube videos.

DroneRepellent®: This idea for “computer software and hardware for use in diverting unmanned aerial vehicles from airplanes” seems like a pretty solid idea, especially considering some of these recent close calls. The trademark holder, Infatics Inc., also has a service helping people track and control their small drones.

Game of Drones®: Though it also encompasses educational services “in the field of unmanned aerial vehicle use,” this trademark is currently being used to selll quadcopters designed to “resist fire, water and extreme impacts.”

Don’t Drone Me Bro®: A play on the “Don’t taze me, bro” guy, this trademarked phrase has found its way onto a series of T-shirts and stickers, a Facebook page, internet memes, and even a National Review headline.

NADS (National Association of Drone Sportsmen)®: Another registered T-shirt slogan, owned by a nascent political/media strategy group. Or something.

Git-R-Drone®: Registered as a T-shirt slogan, this one doesn’t seem to be on anything yet. Larry the Cable Guy’s lawyers must move quick.

Drone Dudes®: This team of “filmmakers, creatives, tech-heads, music-lovers, flying robots and a pup named Dutch” are doing some cool aerial cinematography. Take a look.

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Loan By Drone and Eight Other Silly "Drone" Trademarks

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Sam Brownback’s Administration Is Auctioning Off Some Incredibly NSFW Sex Toys

Mother Jones

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Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback drove his state into the gutter with a string of income tax cuts that were among the largest in history. As I explained in my story on Brownback’s struggling campaign, many typical Republican voters turned against the governor after it became clear that his trickle-down promises of wild economic growth looked a lot more like a sop to the state’s richest denizens, such as Charles Koch.

Read more about how Sam Brownback’s red-state experiment could turn Kansas purple.

State revenues have regularly come in below projections this year. The state legislature’s nonpartisan numbers crunchers expect a $238 million budget deficit by summer 2016, and things will only grow worse as further tax cuts go into effect. How is the state going to make up the difference? Perhaps by getting into the sex toy business. From the Topeka Capital-Journal:

Kansas state government is on the verge of a financial windfall with the auctioning of thousands of sex toys seized by the revenue department for nonpayment of income, withholding and sales taxes, an official said Wednesday.

Online shoppers for adult DVDs, novelty items, clothing and other products can participate in a bonanza shopping experience resulting from the four-county raid on a Kansas company known as United Outlets LLC.

Owner Larry Minkoff, who was doing business under the Bang label, apparently resisted requests from the Kansas Department of Revenue for payment of $163,986 in state taxes.

The online site lists about 400 lots — individual lots can contain dozens of items — that include the Pipedream Fantasy Love Swing, books, hundreds of DVDs, sex and drinking games, a wide assortment of sexually oriented equipment, carrying cases for devices, the Glass Pleasure Wand, bundles of lingerie and the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.

Kansas officials explained to the Capital-Journal that this is the standard operating procedure when businesses can’t pay off their tax debts, though the list of available wares is a bit more colorful than usual.

The full online auction is available here, (that link takes you to the entry landing page, but should you venture past that it becomes quite NSFW).

The “Booty Parlor Good Girl Bad Girl Wrist Cuffs,” one of the few SFW images we could find in the auction Equip-Bid

The timing isn’t ideal for Brownback, though, as he’s been busy trying to capitalize on a racey scandal involving his Democratic opponent. Last week the Coffeyville Journal, a small-town, twice-weekly paper that lacks a website, revealed that in 1998, Brownback challenger Paul Davis had been at a strip club when the cops showed up in a drug raid. Davis, 26 at the time, counted the club owner among his firm’s legal clients, though at the time cops busted down the door he was receiving a lap dance from a topless dancer.

Davis wasn’t charged or implicated in the drug dealings, but Brownback’s camp has been using the incident to smear the Democrat as out of step with heartland values. Now that the Brownback administration has gotten into the sex toys business, that could be a tougher sell.

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Sam Brownback’s Administration Is Auctioning Off Some Incredibly NSFW Sex Toys

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Kool A.D.’s Bizarre Pop-Culture Carnival

Mother Jones

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A lot of musicians can’t run fast enough from their first big hit. Led Zeppelin wouldn’t play “Stairway to Heaven.” Madonna hates “Like a Virgin.” And if you ask Radiohead to play “Creep,” Thom Yorke might tell you to fuck off (if he deigns to respond).

Not so the guy who broke through as one-third of Das Racist, the rap group behind “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell,” which was memorialized by The New York Times in 2009 as “an entrancing but numbing track based largely on the repetition of the title phrase.” Victor Vazquez, the 30-year-old rapper, punk rocker, novelist, and visual artist also known as KOOL A.D., parted ways with Das Racist in 2012, but says he tries “to think of everything I do as part of a continuous idea—I guess because it is all one continuous idea, in that all human life is one continuous idea.”

Peep the artwork, and you’ll get what he means. Maybe.

Vazquez is quick to point out that the hooks for Pizza Hut/Taco Bell and “Michael Jackson,” another of Das Racist’s hits, both came from a song he wrote in 2006, before the rap crew existed. Broadly speaking, his work feels remarkably consistent across his various media—a strong sense of unity emanates from beneath the seeming chaos. Vazquez’s mind is sensitive and humanistic, preoccupied by the philosophical challenges and existential absurdity of living in American society, yet nonetheless living as a part of it.

BEAUTIFUL DOG PIC (2014), by Victor Vazquez

He’s also absurdly prolific. A few months ago Vazquez married Saba Moeel, a fashion designer/musician he’s known since he was 15. A baby is on the way, and so is a book: O.K., A NOVEL, due out this fall, is a 442-page experimental narrative done as 100 fragmented episodes. Vazquez frequently switches up the narrators and breaks from standard prose into lists, screenplay-style scripts, dictionary entries, tweets, and fake ad copy.

His drawings and paintings, which gained some prominence in a 2009 “cartoon-off” with The New Yorker‘s Farley Katz (widely deemed to have ended in Vazquez’s favor), have shown in galleries in Oakland, California, and New York City. An internet-age artist through and through, he also sells visual art pieces via Instagram—some go for hundreds of dollars in seconds. The KOOL A.D. Twitter feed is itself a spectacle, and its oblique comedy and wild musings were partially compiled in Joke Book, his 33-page chapbook of “axioms and aphorisms,” such as: “NPR is to Fox as Starbucks is to Dunkin’ Donuts in that who cares” and “If you’re using a French word to describe it, it can’t be all that ‘avant-garde,’ now can it?” You can almost feel his mischievous smile.

The records keep dropping, too: Vazquez’s Bandcamp page now advertises 12 solo releases, with six full-length albums since 2012. He plans to make his latest, WORD O.K., a “visual album” (a la Beyoncé) with videos to accompany each track.

It’s hard to get much further from Beyoncé than WORD O.K., though. The video for one song, “WORD,” is a three-and-a-half minute, highly NSFW animated short that feels like an acid-fueled journey through a dystopian corporate carnival. It pans smoothly from Bart Simpson wearing a McDonald’s tee and smoking a joint to a sexualized, anthropomorphized rabbit doing the same. Yin-yangs, peace signs, and other pop symbols breathe in and out of cartoon orifices.

His associations might seem offhand, but really they are part of a thoughtful effort to deconstruct and rearrange cultural objects in ways that challenge our deepest assumptions. “We are all part of one universal organism, but at the same time we’re also distinct individual creatures,” he says. “It’s a paradoxical duality that, say, the yin-yang, as one of many symbols or combination of symbols, describes in a sort of shorthand.”

O.K., A NOVEL comes out this fall.

The ability to perceive the universal in particular moments and places, creating heightened impressions that encourage broader, often subversive, considerations, is where Vazquez’s work shines brightest. In “Open Letter,” the five-minute opener of WORD O.K., he raps: “The ice might melt and drip away / But picture yourself rolling in a Lincoln / Seeing pawnshops slink in your peripheral vision / And drift away.” On “Special Forces,” the final track, he takes a completely different rhetorical tack, bluntly repeating “Polo is owned by Nestle,” three times in a row.

In conversation, Vazquez is more explicit about how he relates to the world, artistically and politically. A proud San Francisco Bay Area native (three of his recent releases, 51, 19, and 63, are named after local bus routes), he’s outspoken about the impacts of gentrification.

“There’s nothing wrong with a couple new coffee shops or bars or restaurants,” he says. “But the rich people that move to a spot because it’s ‘cool’ often enough don’t really understand the politics of their being there.” He points to the tech industry: “You might take a private bus line to your software development company or whatever and essentially live a life that’s completely segregated from the majority of people in the world, and in the meantime you’re trying to develop products and concepts that are ostensibly going to enrich those people’s lives? When you don’t know a single thing about them? Don’t even ride the bus with them? Eat at a restaurant that replaced the restaurant they used to eat in and is now too expensive for them to go to? That kind of atmosphere breeds resentment and contention.”

When I ask if any particular political label suits him, his answer is characteristically circular: “I mean, I appreciate art and music and religious and spiritual concepts and, like, even drugs and socializing and sex and conversation and mediation as means of learning and acting that are less hampered by the seemingly inevitable dogmas you tend to find when you follow any argument about how people are supposed to live to its ‘logical’ conclusion.” As for thinkers who have influenced him, he sends me a list of more than a hundred names, including Swizz Beats, Jay-Z, Andy Warhol, Frantz Fanon, John Zerzan, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and Walter Benjamin.

So it’s hard, perhaps even for KOOL A.D., to predict exactly where he’s headed. Will his fans age with him, and stay along for an unpredictable ride? “I have a feeling some of my fans aren’t aging at all. Some might even be growing younger,” he says. “I’m trying to crack the immortal demographic.”

As always, Victor Vazquez sets his own terms.

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Kool A.D.’s Bizarre Pop-Culture Carnival

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