Tag Archives: Dinner

Here Are Obama’s Best Jokes From Tonight’s Sizzling White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Mother Jones

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At President Barack Obama’s final White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday night he walked on stage to Anna Kendrick’s song “You’re Going to Miss Me When I’m Gone,” and smirked as he told the audience, “You know it’s true.”

He mused about what he’ll do once he becomes “couch commander” after his presidency and received both boos and applause when he hinted at who may take the stage as president at next year’s Correspondents’ Dinner. “It’s anyone’s guess who she will be,” he said.

See the video below. Obama’s remarks start at 2:35:00.

The president complimented Bernie Sanders’ “Feel the Bern” movement, and teased Hillary Clinton’s struggle to attract young voters. He compared her tactics to a “relative who just signed up for Facebook.”

Republicans got the worst of the roast, of course. Obama couldn’t resist poking fun at Ted Cruz’s “basketball ring” mishap in Indiana, and dismissed candidates who “didn’t poll high enough to earn a joke.”

Toward the end of the speech, Obama faked out the audience by wrapping things up without talking about Donald Trump. But later he took swings at the GOP front-runner’s previous ties with Miss Universe, and said Trump may have an advantage in closing Guantanamo Bay because of Trump’s experience “running waterfront properties into the ground.”

Obama left the stage with two words: “Obama out.” Then, he appropriately dropped the mic.

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Here Are Obama’s Best Jokes From Tonight’s Sizzling White House Correspondents’ Dinner

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Canada Warns: "Goldfish the Size of Dinner Plates Are Multiplying Like Bunnies"

Mother Jones

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A Fish Out of Water was one of my favorite childhood books. A boy buys a goldfish and is warned not to feed him too much. But he does, and the goldfish outgrows his tank. Then he outgrows a flower vase. Then he outgrows the bathtub. Then he outgrows the swimming pool. Finally, the owner of the shop comes to the rescue and gets the fish back to its normal size. The boy promises never to overfeed his fish again. Lesson learned: listen to your elders. The End.

Except….what if this was more than just a charming kids’ book? Could it actually have been a premonition of 21st century ecological disaster? What if there really were gigantic goldfish out there rampaging through our lakes and ponds?

If you have a goldfish, and you are kind of over that goldfish, to the point where you are now wondering whether it might be best to set that goldfish free, please rethink that decision. That’s the request from the Alberta government, which is trying to get Canadians to refrain from dumping out their fish tanks into ponds. Because those ponds are filling up with those discarded goldfish, which are getting really, really big in the wild.

Or, as the CBC notes: “Goldfish the size of dinner plates are multiplying like bunnies.”

If it can happen in Canada, it can happen in America. You have been warned.

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Canada Warns: "Goldfish the Size of Dinner Plates Are Multiplying Like Bunnies"

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Watch Barack Obama & Joel McHale Make Jokes at the 2014 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Mother Jones

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The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was tonight. President Obama told some jokes. Joel McHale told some jokes. None of these jokes were terribly funny, I thought. They weren’t awful, but they weren’t great. McHale sort of “went after” the Beltway types in the room (a la Colbert), which was neat, but I don’t think the jokes themselves were very funny. But who knows, really. Maybe they were? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not in the right mood.

Here are the videos. Decide for yourself.

Obama:

McHale:

I’m genuinely curious what other people thought. Yay/Nay? Let me know in the comments.

Also, if Obama and McHale didn’t do it for you, here’s the funniest standup ever, Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill:

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Watch Barack Obama & Joel McHale Make Jokes at the 2014 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

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Locavore U.S.A.: How a local-food economy is changing one community, a chapter from the book Change Comes to Dinner

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